Tuesday, August 31, 2010

[The Wild Blue Yonder.]

My life has become the equivalent of a spirited banjo twang.
Or the feel of closed eyes and listening ears as a breeze passes over warm skin.
Or the pleasant blur of mountain and cloud.
I'm telling you...
This past month has been chock full of sweet reverberations and soulful swooning over people in all kinds of places. Never a dull moment. Never a missed beat. Enough memorable moments to fill an eternity, yet this timeline continues on. I'm unsure I've ever been so positive that this place in my life is fully inhabitable and so perfectly crafted to suit my every need, whim, and/or growth spurt.
You'll hear this from me often, but I must say...
These people have astounded me.
Everyone-- volunteers, visitors, guests, strangers.
I simply adore the space that I find myself in.
It's like finding the ideal soundtrack to life--
Everything has such a harmony to it.
So many meticulous, yet spontaneously original, changes in key to keep it all as lively as can be.
Life just...feels...good.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

[Long Lost.]

I found a poem of sorts tucked away in a sketch book in the high school corner of my closet at my parent's homestead. Having failed to take any time to blog this (majestic and oh so wonderful) summer, I figured I might as well share this fun little bit of history...
For the record I have no idea who it's about, when it was written, or what kind of teenage angst I saw myself drowning in...nada.
Your guess is as good as mine.
And that seems to be a beautiful thing.



Is it me?

I cherish you
adore you
want to be with you
when I see you

I run.
I freeze.
(please)
say something...
give attention...

you leave.

without a word
without a glimpse
are you as sorry as i am?
vulnerable? are you broken?

or is it me?

until finally
I see you
give attention
with forced words
with blazing cheeks

I freeze.
you leave.
(please)
you're just like me.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

[The Linear Verbage Project. Take Two!]

I neglected to add many old favorites in the first attempt at this list of brilliant lyrics, and have since discovered many more lines to love! Fear not, I'm sure there will be more to include not too far down the road...!


“The soles of my feet, a history. The back of my knees, a mystery.”

Mathie: Proven

“What if the trees were really holding the sky up?”

Ellis: How Would It Be?

“I held so many people in my suitcase heart that I had to let the whole thing go. It was taken by the wind and snow…”

“I’ve begun to trust the view here.”

Weepies: Slow Pony Home

“The meek had a meeting of minds. Consistent hypocrisy—hey, that’s all right!”

The Thrills: You Can't Fool Old Friends With Limousines

“I’m the hero of the story. Don’t need to be saved.”

Regina Spektor: Hero

“Alabama, Arkansas! I do love my ma and pa. Not the way that I do love you…”

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros: Home

“In the softness of her laugh, I could almost make my bed.”

Copeland: I’m a Sucker for a Kind Word

“Any man who knows a thing knows he knows not a damn, damn thing at all.”

K’Naan: Take a Minute

“Until someone loves you, I’ll keep you safe.”

The Hush Sound: That’s Okay

“I’ll never say I’ll never love…but I don’t say a lot of things…”

Ingrid Michaelson: The Chain

“You’re dumbstruck, baby. Now you know.”

The National: Racing Like a Pro

“Everything looks better from far away.”

The Postal Service: Such Great Heights

“Lost in fog and love and faithless fear, I’ve had kisses that make Judas seem sincere.”

The Hold Steady: Citrus

“Love is a dress that you made long to hide your knees.”

Iron & Wine: Love and Some Verses

“Like a river of tangled string, you are unraveling.”

Deb Talan: Unraveling

“Lovin’ is fine as long as it’s not in your mind.”

Damien Rice: The Professor

“When you showed me myself…I became someone else.”

Joseph Arthur: In the Sun

“A remedy to agony…”

Lissie: Here Before

“Is she outside-in or inside-out?”

Freelance Whales: Hannah

“So you quote love unquote me.”

“You tell me I’m not not cute.”

The Magnetic Fields: I Don’t Believe You

“Some say they saw in me innocent poetry.”

Iron & Wine: History of Lovers

“You can’t go round just saying stuff because it’s pretty. And I no longer drink enough to think you’re witty.”

The Magnetic Fields: You Must Be Out of Your Mind

“We’ve got a minefield of crippled affection.”

Broken Social Scene: World Sick

“Two drifters: off to see the world. There’s such a lot of world to see...”

Josh Ritter: Moon River (cover)

“It’s okay to do what you know in your heart to be right.”

Terror Pigeon Revolt!: IOTDWYKIYHTBR

“Your head caught in a waking dream…”

Fleet Foxes: Your Protector

“I am losing myself dreaming of you.”

Caroline Smith and the Goodnight Sleeps:

“The smoke of memories in my eyes—the real misleading kind.”

A Fine Frenzy: Winter White

“You’re making love to the past.”

Free Energy: Dark Trance

“Have you fallen from where glory sprouts?”

Nathaniel Rateliff: Early Spring Till

“The path of least resistance is catching up with me again today…”

Brandi Carlile: Again Today

“She’s got jumper cable lips, sunset on her breath now. I inhale just a little bit and I got no fear of death now…!”

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros: 40 Day Dream

“The gold-soaked afternoon comes slow.”

“The static’s where you’ll find me.”

Jack’s Mannequin: Into the Airwaves

“This is nothing new—just another phase of finding.”

“You give miles and miles of mountains and I’ll ask for the sea.”

Damien Rice: Volcano

“You painted me in pastel; colors that don’t tell of any boldness.”

The Hush Sound: The Artist

“I am what I am—you ain’t gotta love me.”

Brother Ali: Forest Whitaker

“I tried to hold your hand, but you’d rather hold your grudge.”

Relient K: Which to Bury; Us or the Hatchet

“As simple as it sounds, I think I’ve found the perfect way to grow old.”

QuietDrive: Both Ways

“Living in a dream, walking between sunrise and sunset.”

The Weepies: Living in Twilight

“All my mistakes have become masterpieces.”

Teitur (feat. Tarira): All My Mistakes

“But I sure loved the way the way that you lingered here.”

Nathaniel Rateliff: Once in a Great While

“I think we’ll either sink or swim ’cause we could do either on a whim.”

Bell X1: Eve, The Apple of My Eye

“You see stars that clear have been dead for years, but the idea just lives on…”

Bright Eyes: We Are Nowhere and It’s Now

“You just want to fix yourself so you can break again.”

Copeland: The Last time He Saw Dorie

“Never put her roots down...”

Neil Young: Unknown Legend (esp. when sung by Sydney in Rachel Getting Married)

“Shut me up with your long tube socks—they don’t scream, “Hey, let’s just be friends!”

Freelance Whales: Starring

“Can you lie next to her and confess your love as well as your folly?”

“You desired my attention, but denied my affections.”

Mumford & Sons: White Blank Page

“Rusting far below me, battered hulls and broken hardships.”

Josh Ritter: Change of Time

“But our intentions were intangible and sweet, sick with simple math and shy discoveries, piled up against our impending defeat.”

The Weakerthans: Benediction

“Thought of you as my mountain top, thought of you as my peak.”

The Velvet Underground: Pale Blue Eyes

“Strolling, so vagrant, so shaken, so grown, so—god—so mistaken, so broke, so, so complacent, so worn out…so worn out…so worn out…”

P.O.S.: P.O.S. Is Ruining My Life

Thursday, May 27, 2010

[Heading South.]

These past few days have been some of the most interesting of my life. Part of it can be found in the experiences themselves, but more so in the conflict of high and low.

Recap:

My struggle to adjust to life outside of SD had a surprising twist upon reuniting with and discovering new old friends. It's been great and excruciating. Pain, pleasure.

Plans to go visit Sioux Falls for graduation weekend turned into a last minute sprint to ready myself for a backpacking trip in the high grounds of Superior.

Hiked it. Rocked it. Got absolutely rocked.

Hitch-hiked, swam with leeches, hiked with wolves, hosted tent parties, swam in creeks, found Brown Water to be most thirst-quenching beverage in the world and discovered peanut butter is best on the things you'd least expect, survived a flash flood, earned muddy war paint and an official trail name.

Left on an absolute high. Arrived in a less friendly reality.

This has been yet another truly debilitating transition.

My most dependable relationship in this town is heading West. I'm feeling frustrated with my new job. (The more I explore, the more I'm noticing everything looks the same.) And finally, a rejection from my future. Colorado put the kabosh on my expectations. Thus, I’m left to revamp my plans. Back to the point of those posters that covered my walls back in November which I was incredibly grateful to not have to look at for the past 5 or so months — "Do I Stay or Do I Go Now?"

Hmm.

If I have learned anything in this past month, I know that I must simply continue to explore. With purpose. With passion. With every ounce of my being.

In taking the first steps in doing so, I'm feeling tugged in many directions. I am open to many plans. Perhaps more than is healthy. I believe -- I have to -- that I will know it when I find what I am looking for.

Last night I went to an international volunteering seminar. Felt drawn.

I've heard myself ponder the option of picking a state and going. Find something once I get there.

The yearning is still there to WWOOF, but this time I’m wondering about setting out on my own instead of finding a companion.

And you know what? My move to the organic farm happens this weekend. Maybe that will be the turning point.

As you can imagine, with all these big picture who-knows up in the air, my life seems extremely abstract. I am overwhelmed with the possibilities, and - though I’m completely disappointed with the results of the Colorado stint - I am actually feeling quite refreshed about the potential housed in my future.

Where to begin?

Spin the globe. Close your eyes. Take a leap.